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So yesterday I get an odd message in my work email from someone in my company asking about health benefits, I was going to respond to the guy telling him he sent it to the wrong person when he wites back to appologize for mis-delivering it. That's fine.

So today I get to work and open my inbox and see 30 e-mails form people all over the company saying that they keep geting e-mail from everyone and to stop doing it....meanwhile they are hitting the "Reply All" button. And so the vicious cycle ensues. So far for the last hour, I keep getting messages form people complainging that they are getting e-mails and telling people to stop it, but they are just adding to the mess. And these are probably people that have MBA's. It would be easy to just ignore the e-mails and just delete them but they must let everyone know how annoying it is that they keep getting e-mail. I am sitting here laughing my ass off at this...these grown adults acting like petulant children, whining that their inbox indicator keep going off. At least some people are enjoying it, Vinnie said that he's "really enjoying it!!!" But now it's annoying senior management, and Karen sent a message, replying to all, that if they keep it up and crash the system there are going to be REPRECUSSIONS!...it was in red and in caps so you know she means buisness.

Ah, corporate America...Gotta love it.

Everything sucks

The guy taking on the express bus sucks....does anyone not have any fucking consideration anymore. I did not pay $4 for the express bus so I can listen to some asshole talk on his stupid little cell phone the whole way home. Due to his lack of consideration I know that he has a date this thursday....fucking bastard.

Christmas sucks. I am so tired of this fucking hallmark holiday. There is no meaning left in it anymore. We celebrate the birth of someone who's birthday did not even take place in december. How so? Well just last week was the feast of immacculate conception...just think about it. Either Mary gave birth two weeks after her conception or it took her a whole year to give birth. I learned in Health class either senario is impossible. It's just an empty holiday that his run by the mighty dollar.

Work sucks. I got laid off and re-hired within 2 weeks. Sounds good but I feel that I'll be doing work that I am not meant to do. I wish I knew what I was meant to do in this lifetime. I just don't know what I was put on this earth to do. I just feel that my existance has not been validated yet and I wish it were. and no I'm not going to kill myself or do something lame like that...I just feel like poop right now.

2004 sucks major donkey nuts! I'm giving this year two middle fingers and an arm gesture. I can only hope that 2005 is better...it has to get better. This year just really sucked. I can't wait for New Years Day....It will be a new year and I will get my vacation time back so I can go on that much needed vacation that I was supposed to take 3 months ago.

Oh, and the Red Sox Suck too....Go Yankees.

Make a fish breathe oxygen and stand on it's fins

Well today I was called into the principals office and reprimanded...so to speak. Actually the manager I report to called me into his office to tell me that the supervisor was complaining about me to him. The supervisor hasn't been appreciating my work ethic, which lately has consisted of talking on the phone, laughing out loud while talking on the phone, coming in later than I should, and overall appearing to not be doing any work (which is not too far from the truth). Funny thing is, I've been doing this for a while now, only difference is that I am now sitting right next to the VP's office so I'm more exposed. I was warned to try not to be so obvious....my manger know that I do my work but I just have to be more careful. To which I apologized and said that I would do as he suggested.
 
Now usually when some thing like this happens to someone at work they leave the office shaking in their boots, biting their fingernails saying "Oh me, oh my! I better do what they say or I'll get into big trouble! (whimper, whimper)"....Funny thing is, I was barely phased by it.
 
That is NOT a good thing.
 
Lately I've been feeling like I am slowly deteriorating from the inside out. I have spent 5 years working in a non-creative environment and it is slowly killing my soul. I know it sounds dramatic but that is the best way I can describe it. I am an artist working in credit and collections...that is not an area that offers much creativity. The most creative I can get in my job is deciding what color I want to make the totals on an Excel spreadsheet. Every morning when I am walking to my building I feeling I am walking to my execution. The other day I took the day off to take my friend, Jen, to the airport. While we were wasting time until she had to go to her gate I turned to her and said "You know I am so much happier sitting here that I would be sitting at my desk at work.". She goes "Seriously?", I said "Yeah, seriously." She tells me "That is really bad.".....She's right, that is bad but it's the truth.
 
I hate feeling like this because I know this is not how I would usually behave. This is not me. I am not this person that literally DOES NOT CARE. I hate feeling like this but I can't help it. I hope that I can get in to a career in the very near future that is more suited to my personalities and talents. I hope I can have a job that I can even mildly enjoy. I can't keep working where I'm at....I'll either just get up and quit or let them fire me....I unfortunately would be happier either way, which again is not a good thing.
 
I need to be able to breath the water and not the air....I'm just not built that way.